I can't say I've ever driven a worst car ever. Not one of mine, and I have driven quite a few bangers. But when I was still at university I drove as a hiker for Hertz, and they had all kinds of cars, all of them practically new, all very nice in fact, Fords of course, we were the first in Holland to drive the Sierra when it had first came out, 5 or 6 of us in a row of Sierras on the A2 from Schiphol Airport to Utrecht. But they had two that stood out for me as being unpleasant to drive or be in. So, at third place, a Mitsubishi Colt Automatic, for its sheer nothingness, for the drab exterior, the drab grey interior, and, on second place, a Ford Transit van, harsh, loud and unforgiving.

But if I had to pick a worse car ever, at first place, the absolute loser, it would undoubtedly be my fathers... drum roll... Citroen C5 Break. He bought it because his Citroen nut of a brother, otherwise a perfectly nice individual, had recommended it. The first and only car my father ever bought new. The thing accelerated without the driver even touching the throttle. I remember my father leaving after a visit. We said our goodbyes, I closed the door, and seconds later I heard the Citroen roar. I was scared out of my wits, he was in his seventies then, thought he had become unwell, had collapsed, head on the steering wheel, foot heavy on the throttle. I stormed outside and saw him standing next to the car, hands in the air as if to say "Hey, it's not me", the Citroen thundering away at full throttle. He once drove backwards into a wall because of the Citroen itself stepping on the gas. When he had lost sight in one eye, I had to drive him to the hospital for check-ups, in the Citroen, and when I drove over speed bumps, the Citroen accelerated, with my foot off the throttle. We took it to the dealer numerous times, even to the importer, but in vain, "We're awfully sorry, but we can't find anything wrong with your car, we think it's the floor mat you put in, it's probably getting stuck." No, it wasn't.

He eventually traded it in for a car I had picked for him. From one of the worst to one of the best cars ever: a Jaguar X-type 3.0 V6 AWD estate in a wonderful shade of green, emerald fire.

Richard

 A new Peugeot partner hire van with work, i looked at the mileage expecting to see 250k miles... it had 2k miles on it, awful from the start. And i've driven some real rubbish in my time but i just couldn't excuse this thing. Steering, Gearbox, Brakes, controls, interior, comfort they had spectacularly managed to make everything so awful I wondered if they had tested anything before going in to production.

Has to be a Reliant Robin. I had to deliver some parts for the firm I worked for, the firms van was off the road being serviced. I almost did a "Clarkson" on the first bend, but, managed to catch it before it rolled over. 

When I was a student I worked 2 nights a week in the local car auction.  I drove some real sheds, quite a lot of big jags that never seemed to have any brakes.  I would be hard pushed to pick out one, they were all awful

Peter

Worst car I have ever had the displeasure of driving is, by far, the original VW Beetle. I always wanted one and jumped at the chance of driving a friends 70's one for the weekend. What a let down! The pedals and steering wheel aren't in line with the seat, noisy, heavy steering, just generally felt numb. I must have been spoiled by the luxury of driving a Series 2!!

Your Simca description pretty much fits the bill to be my Land Rover! But the LR has character, and the Simca is French 😉

Of recent drives, I really didn't get on with the Mercedes CLA I was loaned recently whilst my VW Up! was repaired. I hated the gear-lever where the indicators are on my S2!

A new Mini, in 1970.

Automatic - and it must have been a prototype.

It screamed like a banshee, didn't go very fast - and changed gear like a first lesson learner.

A white Chrysler Sebring convertible, which we hired when we were in the USA.

It was a shocker.  A Gutless, wallowy lump of a thing, with a really slow witted automatic slush box. The suspension managed the trick of being soft and uncomfortable at the same time.  The steering was absolutely disconnected from the road, with no feel whatsoever.  It was absolutely characterless. had the thing for 2 weeks, and was heartily glad to see the back of it

The Lada Estate I bought new when my 3 kids were young and the mortgage was onerous, was, on the other hand, a really good car, with excellent steering, good brakes, strong and supple suspension with good ground clearance, and simple "fix it in a field " mechanicals.  A seriously underrated vehicle, (based I think on the FIAT 124, a one time European car of the year) whose only fault was the odd angle of the accelerator which gave a real ankle ache after an hour of driving.

Did 70,000 trouble-free miles in it, and sold it still looking and running like new.   

I find I struggle a little with the LR bubble.

any of the modern hire cars I've had in the last few years, Astra, Peugeot 3008, Hyundai iQ something, all of them had the modern fault of not really doing anything when you put your foot down until some time after, and way too much focus on how well they integrate to your phone and seemingly no interest in making them nice to drive. 

Sounds like my current Eurobox (well, the phone bit), it isn't too bad a drive ...

Our current eurobox is not bad apart from the horrible electric handbrake

Peter

.... apart from the horrible electric handbrake

Hi Peter,

Handbrake? You should be so lucky!

My new "full electric" KONOS does not have a hand-brake. In fact I don't know if it has any form of secondary braking, unless it is P position, between F and R, on the little switch on the dash.

There are scarcely any hills in Milton Keynes, so I can't check to see if P will hold it on a hill. Anybody?

The car seems reluctant to go close to any other car, but I haven't tried to force the issue. Mental visions of being unable to reverse if there is a trailer attached. (Yes, it does have "towing capability" according to the owner's handbook. About £300 to have a tow-bar fitted). Would a completely flat battery prevent the car from moving?

 602 

PS. A Google for NUCLEAR ACCIDENTS IN UK might bring up one of MY "Nuke Convoy" trucks, a Leyland Hippo 10 tonner, but not what really happened. The 10,000cc engine "ran away", due to fuel leaking into the sump oil, then being sucked into the induction via a breather pipe. The driver stopped, and cranked up the hand brake, before evacuating. The hand brake was beside his right knee, and released by slamming the lever forward ... easily done if you are in a hurry to evacuate. An elderly couple had an early morning wake-up call, when the driverless Juggernaut parked itself in their front parlour.

I say MY Hippo. OK, I was actually servicing the Hippo in the next bay, at the time the fuel spill-back pipe was fractured, but nobody noticed. We were given the job of blocking the breather pipes on the rest of the fleet ... an easy job if you were a contortionist.

602

There actually is a car called Eurobox, the Renoca Eurobox. Looks like a Golf and a Duster glued together at the A-post. I would never have guessed you were so many to have chosen this car as your daily driver...
Richard

The Eurobox is a secondhand Toyota Probox that has been messed about with by a large Toyota dealership in Japan, they do funny things with Land Cruisers and Hiace vans too

Peter